Has just been reading an article posted in yesterdays MailOnline which stated that a number of couples are giving up conventional, climax-orientated intercourse for a different method. This method is called the Karezza technique.
This Karezza method was spearheaded by leading Feminist Dr Alice Stockholm (in 1896) is designed to stregthen marriage, inject spark into a relationship and cure sexual dysfunction by putting emphasis on bonding and relaxation, not orgasm. In fact orgasm is discouraged, but ‘it does not break any rules if an orgasm accidentally occurs.’
According to Deb Feintech, A counsellor from Maine she often uses the Karezza technique to help couples repair their broken relationships and is helpful for all couples from the middle aged ‘together forever’ couples to the young couples heading to the Alter as it helps couples connect with their hearts and not their genitals.
Because Karezza has no ‘finish line’, sexual energy continues to flow and followers of this technique argue that this helps to prevent boredom with a partner and can help to cure addictions to Sex and Pornography.
I was particularly interested in this article because I was intrigued to discover how my followers would react to the thought of Sex without an orgasm and simply because I am always interested in developing techniques. Personally, I find the thought of Sex without and orgasm quite depressing and a bit like buying a Jam doughnut and finding that there is no Jam. Its the best part!
The technique for no climax intercouse requires a person to:
- Smile at each their partner, with eye contact (Try this without laughing, i dare you!)
- Gaze into your partners eyes for several moments (Again, without laughing!)
- Sycronised breathing (Is that a smirk I see?)
- Cradling, or gently rocking your partners head and torso
- Holding or spooning each other in stillness for at least 20 minutes to half an hour
- Make wordless sounds of contentment and pleasure (??)
- Stroking, hugging and massaging with intent to comfort rather than gain something
- Lying with your ear over your partners heart and listening to their heartbeat
- Touch and suck your partners nipples
- Gently place their palm over their partners genitals with intent to comfort
- Make bedtime together a priority, even if one has to get up afterwards and work
Its recommended that couples try this for a month or so and the emotional inimacy that you get from the technique will far outweigh ‘the thrill of the chase and the mating mind’. Its all sounds very good on paper and the MailOnline includes a small interview with a couple to argue that this technique is amazing but in these busy times is it viable? Does anyone actually have the time to sit smiling, cuddling, learning to breathe alongside and rocking your partner (I really dont understand the rocking, how unsexy! I do this to my children!!!)
We have ‘snuggle time’ like everyone else but half the fun is the cuddling and wondering if it will lead to something more. Why would you run the London Marathon just to collapse before the Finish Line? Far be it from me to criticise a well known tried and tested technique but I like hitting the Finish Line and its a buzz to know that your partner has hit it too and that in itself is good for a relationship. I can’t help but think that teaching couples that an orgasm is somehow ‘wrong’ can also be damaging to a relationship for other reasons.
I believe that emotional intimacy is a massive part of a relationship and no healthy sexual relationship can function without this, but no orgasms?
I am putting this technique on a list for one of my reviewers and will be interested to see the results. There is no way that my other half would agree to do it and i know that I would get carried away and it would be a pointless experiment (I am a weak woman).
It will be interesting to see if anyone puts themselves forward for this month long experiment?
Watch This Space!