Celebrating Inspiration with Voluptasse- Cara Sutra.

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Most of my inspiration comes from my Dad. He was kind, he was hard working and he brought his five children up alone. He faced the murder of my brother as best he could and talked only about forgiveness, not hatred.

Like a dependable shire horse he was a tower of strength and he never let anybody down. He had problems and was by no means perfect but he was truly loved by our whole community because he was such a special person.

In honour of my Dad’s birthday today, I wanted to start a series which celebrates the people who inspire others. From rich to poor, the woman in the street, your best friend, I want to hear about them!

In a day and age where we hear so much about failure and loss, it’s lovely to reach out to someone and celebrate exactly what makes them special. To show them that although they haven’t asked for recognition, they haven’t gone unnoticed.

Our first inspiration was chosen by me and is a very dear friend of mine. Cara Sutra is a multi-award winning journalist and has overcome a number of personal difficulties to become the successful writer that she is today.

Not only does Cara juggle the busy magazine with an active family life. She has also designed and launched The Cara Sutra Collection, a beautiful range of bondage items in her signature colours of black and red.

Rather than rebuff competition, Cara actively encourages novice writers (like myself) to follow their dreams and become professional writers too. She has written a number of courses and has given me invaluable help and advice in moving forward with my passion for writing.

For me – Cara has been a friend, a shoulder to cry on, a consultant and at times, a sounding board for my zany and impulsive idea’s. Without her help, I very much doubt that Voluptasse and I would be progressing as we are today.

Her inspirational journey in the difficult world of adult journalism continues to inspire me to carry on, and that alone requires celebration.

And now over to Cara

Cara, tell us a little bit about yourself. What’s your story?

Hi there! Thanks for having me. I’m an award winning erotic journalist, sex blogger and sex toy reviewer. I’m also a Lifestyle Mistress in the FemDom BDSM scene. That’s the public side done. In my home life I’m a devoted mum, partner and daughter in law for the important people in my life. Oh, I also have a live in slave.

I’ve been sex blogging and reviewing sex toys for approximately 6 years now. My online sexuality magazine, CaraSutra.co.uk is a hub of sexuality based articles and sex and relationship advice. There are thousands of sex toy and adult product reviews, as well as a growing adult chat forum.

Recently I was excited and delighted to launch the first in The Cara Sutra Collection, the Fantasy by Cara Sutra bondage kit. It comprises of 8 essential beginners to bondage items, in a choice of black or red.

This all started because a friend who was a sex toys party rep invited me to join a sex toys forum online. I made lots of friends and noticed many of them were reviewing sex toys on their blog, as well as talking about their sex lives as well as day to day blogging. I gave it a go as a side hobby and a few years down the line and a few full time industry jobs later, I am working for myself as an adult industry copywriter and consultant. That’s the short version, anyway!

What made you decide to turn your love of writing into a career?

It was entirely accidental. I have a passion for writing and communicating my opinions to others. I find the written word to be the easiest way of articulating my thoughts, so writing enabled me to grow that skill and enjoy it both as a hobby and eventually as an income.

My blogging became prolific enough that I was headhunted by a UK distributor of adult products. I was invited to the office and this progressed to an interview where I was offered an in-house job as content writer, retail marketing and affiliate manager.

After leaving that employment to strike out on my own, my writing had become well known enough in the industry to bring me an income on its own merit.

Other than your natural talent, did you have any formal training?

I don’t believe there is any formal training specifically for adult industry copywriting and promotional writing – other than the courses I am creating myself, of course! I have learned a lot during the years I have spent in the industry.

At school I always excelled in linguistics rather than mathematics or science. I hold relevant GCSE’s and A-Levels but due to circumstances at the time, I don’t have a degree. My past employment ranges from cafe work to changing sheets in a nursing home, many receptionist and secretarial jobs and even management of expatriate banking.

I’m pleased to say I think I’ve found my niche. Excuse the pun.

Have you had to make tough decisions throughout your journey and what were they?

Yes. Notable difficult decisions were choosing my online persona, moving from Mistress Cara to Cara Sutra. Linked to this was the splitting out of my fetish persona into a separate BDSM/FemDom themed website and social media, as many who follow my mainstream sex blogging site and social media found the FemDom aspects too intense and not to their taste.

When I was headhunted and offered the job in-house at a UK distributor, I moved over 100 miles to take the position. A house move and a pregnancy helped me decide to hand in my resignation there, as well as a desire to work for myself.

After the baby I lost some of that bolstered confidence and took another full-time role for a different UK distributor, this time as content manager from home. I was unsure that my freelance work would bring me the full time income I wanted and needed. However after just a few months it became apparent that I couldn’t cope with the extra work load and was forced to make a choice between my full-time, albeit anonymous role as content manager for an employer, and to once again dive head first and 100% into my Cara Sutra work. I chose the latter, then almost exactly one month later I was offered the chance for my own bondage line of sex toys. I don’t believe this would have happened if I’d remained in full time employment. You never know what’s around the corner.

In my personal life I have seen my relationships change from being with my ex-boyfriend to splitting with him and moving in with a male and female partner, as well as another person, in a poly quad. This lasted a few years but last year we decided this wasn’t working anymore and two couples went separate ways. My male partner and I moved out and we haven’t looked back since. The change of atmosphere in our home life is simply unbelievable. Calm, positive and enjoyable for everyone here.

The Cara Sutra magazine thrives because of your hard work. What drives you to succeed?

Pride, most probably! I’m a perfectionist and eldest child so I have that whole achiever complex. I also don’t know quite what I’d do with my time if I stopped, and I wouldn’t be happy being anything less than the best I can be so why not put all my energy into it? I’d be disappointed in myself if I felt like I hadn’t given my all to be the best.

I also feel supremely lucky and grateful that I am in a position to work from home, spending so much time with my children and having the freedom to spend time with them if they’re ill, picking them up from school and not being confined to an office I have to commute to on a daily basis. I don’t think I’ll ever take that for granted.

As a writer the freedom to be able to write and work when I feel inspiration strike is an added bonus – I don’t write well under forced conditions 9-5pm with a boss breathing down my neck! I also need access to coffee pretty much 24/7. Then wine on Fridays, of course.

Is there anyone out there who inspires you to carry on during tough times?

My kids. I want to be a hard-working, successful mum they can be proud of. Also my fantastically supportive partner who puts up with my madness, long hours writing and bolt-upright shots of inspiration and biro scribbling at 3am.

I’m not trying to follow in anyone else’s footsteps, I want to make my own. So although there are plenty of writers, bloggers and industry people out there I hugely admire and find inspirational, my aim is to remain unique and do things in a different way.

You work long hours and I assume that this has a huge impact on your personal life and physical well-being. Where do you gather your strength?

I have no idea. I have moved on from the days of trying to work 7 days a week. I take weekends off now and make myself relax and I spend time with my family and enjoying life with friends.

Some days I just need a break and I am lucky I am able to take it easy for a morning of afternoon if my energy levels are seriously depleted, or if writer’s block simply won’t quit.

Plus, vitamins! I start every morning with an A-Z vitamin and an effervescent Vitamin C and Zinc and I find it makes a huge difference to my day.

What do you believe are your biggest challenges yet to come and how do you plan to face them?

Deciding to stop. When do I do that? Do I retire? Will I announce it and still be somewhat ‘around’ or simply quit and slope off hoping no one notices?

Another worry is running out of ideas for things to write about but I haven’t run out yet. My to-write list is as long as the equator (or so it feels, anyway).

Other than those, it’s simply a case of my own mind cutting me a break and letting me actually relax. The work/life balance is extra difficult when you work from home and add kids on top and it’s one seriously messy juggling act. A lot of my work is done in my head (no jokes please), from coming up with new article ideas to musing on a sex toy’s features and my experiences and thinking how to expand and improve my website. There isn’t an ‘off’ button to the brain so I find it incredibly difficult to stop working, even if I’m not physically sat at my desk.

Although you have a number of articles on your Cara Sutra website which advise your readers how to follow in your footsteps and join the professional writing community.  Can you sum up some advice for our followers in one paragraph?

I would advise knowing your strengths and not being afraid to shout about them loudly, while tempering this with friendliness, approachability and a professional, courteous attitude. So many find it difficult to be assertive enough but this is business, after all. Don’t be put off by doubters and jealousy. Believe in yourself and you will soon find that others will, too. Set realistic prices then stick to them, you will not be respected if you can be bartered down to a disrespectful price for your time and skills and this is a hard position to come back from. Always triple check, edit and proof your work. Finally, write because you enjoy it not for the money. The most effective writing is backed with genuine passion not a desperate desire for the bank transfer to go through.

You were chosen as our inspirational person of the month because of the personal difficulties you faced, moved away from and picked yourself up to become the multi-award award winning erotic journalist that you are today.

Is there anything further you’d like to add?

Thank you so much for choosing me as your inspirational person of the month! If anyone has any other questions or needs advice on all things sex, sex toys, kink, relationships or copywriting, just drop me an email to cara@carasutra.co.uk. Discover my sexuality magazine website right here at http://carasutra.co.uk

– Cara Sutra

 If you’d like to vote for Cara as Best Erotic Journalist in the super competitive ETO awards.

Please follow the link and cast your vote

 

 

 

 

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