Pour a class of mulled wine and keep your vibrator close to hand with this free Christmas erotica. The Naughtivity is a scandalous twist on the traditional Nativity story. Thank you to Ella Scandal from Scanderella for this wonderful (and filthy) contribution.
“My head will be ringing, with sad sad sad news,
Damn it it’s Christmas, I don’t wanna be blue,
My baby’s coming, I can’t go with my friends,
To get totally wasted, once again,
My girl will be screaming, all through the night,
Oh I can guarantee you, she’ll be alright,
Please don’t be born on Christmas,
Please don’t be born on Christmas,
No not on Christmas, or New Year’s night.”
“Shut the fuck up, Joss, I’m gonna pee my pants!” I howled, holding my space hopper of a stomach with one hand while pulling the seatbelt away from the underside of it with the other.
My boyfriend had a great voice and I loved to hear him sing, especially if he was doing it alongside the godly Jon Bon Jovi, but he’d been bastardising Christmas songs for the entirety of our four hour trip and my bladder couldn’t take it anymore.
The car slowed and he leaned over, adjusting the strap for me. His eyes never left the dark country road for a second. “We’ll stop at the next place we see, even if it’s residential. Surely someone will let a pregnant lady in to take a piss.”
“You know, you’re gonna have to stop talking like that once this baby is born. You can’t say stuff like that around her, it isn’t right.”
Joss rolled his eyes, blowing his hipster long hair out of his face. “You talk like she’s the second coming of Christ. It’s gonna be like, three years before I have to worry about her repeating me, babe.”
I was busy preparing to launch the ‘babies learn from the womb’ tirade I’d had drilled into me by my mother, but thought better of it. He’d given up so much for this baby, just like I had, so taking his cursing away from him seemed cruel.
I was about to remind him that he needed to get his mother to ban bacon from the house while I was around, but a dulling of the lights on the dashboard silenced me. Joss made an angry noise, slapping the satnav screen hard enough to snap it off its little stalk.
“Well done,” I huffed. The look I got was scathing, and more than a little accusing. “Don’t give me that look, he’s your Dad not mine. I told him you wanted a Garmin last Christmas, but he insisted that Star Navigation was the way to go.”
Joss turned the radio up a little. I rolled my eyes, thudding my head off the headrest and letting my lids flutter closed. Five hour car journeys weren’t good for humans in general, never mind eight and a half months pregnant ones.
I listened to him sing quietly along with George Michael, changing the lyrics to, last Christmas, you gave me a Star, the very next day I should have thrown it away, this year to save me from tears, I’m buying my own fucking present. He really was sore about being gifted a cheapo brand from his father, so I didn’t let him see my smile.
Ten minutes later he was swearing like a sailor, pulling the car to the side of the dark country road. He punched on the hazard lights, popped the hood, then leapt out, pointing at me to stay put. Almost two minutes passed before I rolled my eyes again and clambered out of my door.
Slipping around in the ice hardened mud, I came to a stop at the front of the car. The heat coming off the engine was glorious, so I used it to warm my hands. “What is it?” I asked.
“It’s this shitty car. It’s a lemon, Marilyn. A fucking lemon.”
I was affronted! This car was my baby, my pride and joy. “No it isn’t,” I said defending my poor girl.
“Yes it is! What did the young kid in the garage tell you they’d nicknamed it when the old guy wasn’t listening?”
Blushing on behalf of my rusty bucket of bolts I quietly replied, “The donkey.”
“The donkey,” he said with a heavy dose of sarcasm. “But you had to have it regardless cos it’s hunter fucking green.”
Slipping back to the passenger door, I fumbled for my bag. On the radio, Chris Rea was crooning Driving Home for Christmas like it was a good thing. If we’d stayed with my parents instead of having to drive a million miles to spend the holidays with Joss’ folks in their new city, we wouldn’t be in this mess. Chris was singing out of his ass.
Bag located, I rolled my eyes at my phone. “I have no signal,” I yelled. “Try yours.”
Joss appeared beside me, pulling me against his chest. He kissed the top of my head, hands on my belly. “I don’t have one either. Get back in the car and lock the doors, babe. I’ll walk back to the bend where you picked up that text from Gabby, see if I can get a couple of bars there.”
“No!” I was already freaking out, leaving me alone on the side of a tree lined ditch in the dark would end me. “You can’t go back, Joss, it was ten fucking miles or something stupid. And you’re not leaving me. What if I go into labour and you’re hit by a car or eaten by a starving deer? What do I do then?”
Moving me to the side, he reached into the back seats and dragged out my coat and woolly accessories. Once I was wrapped up, he handed me my bag, grabbed my hospital bag and his coat, then slammed the door and locked the car.
“You’ll break your neck – or worse – walking on the mud so we’ll have to take the road. Stay right beside me and on the inside, baby, okay?”
Hand in hand, we plodded along the road. It was dark and terrifying. There wasn’t much of a moon, but what there was made the naked trees that overhung the road take on monstrous shapes. I pretended I was in the middle of my own low budget version of the Nightmare Before Christmas, and that the horrific creatures I was imagining were just the friendly residents of Halloween Town coming to greet me.
I don’t know how long we walked before Joss perked up. “I can see smoke,” he murmured. “Can you walk a little faster, honey? I want to get you in out of the cold.”
My back was aching, but I gave him what he wanted. It only took us a few minutes to reach the place, and when the front of the lone building came into view I started to laugh.
“Oh boy,” Joss breathed. Letting out a nervy laugh, he stepped forward and hammered on the door of the Stable Bar and Grill.
Two minutes and another knock later, it swung wide. Orange light made the snow glitter and spark, not unlike the eyes of the woman in the doorway. She glanced at my belly, chuckled, and then cocked her head.
“Hey,” Joss said. I wasn’t used to him sounding so awkward. It was cute. “Uh, our car broke down and we were wondering if we could use your phone to call my Dad to come tow us home.”
The woman shook her head. “No can do, sonny. We have no main line here, and the nearest tower is down so no mobile service either.”
I was impressed when Joss bit back what had the potential to have been a juicy curse. He rubbed the inner corners of his gorgeous green eyes with a thumb and forefinger. Taking a deep breath, he shrugged.
“Do you have someone who could drive me to the nearest phone?”
“Nope,” she said. “The only car we have is taking some over the limit customers home and won’t be back for another couple of hours. If you want to come in and wait I’m sure my husband will gladly drive you where you need to go when he gets here.”
She smiled brightly, walking inside and leaving the door open. I really needed to pee, so I was halfway in when Joss grabbed my arm.
“I swear to God, if you drop this baby here I’ll ditch you both by the fucking roadside.”
I probably should have been put out by that, but I wasn’t. I was amused. “Scared she really will be the second coming of Christ?” I teased.
“Yes, I am. You do know that would signal the end of the world, right?”
“What would it matter? Second coming or not, she signals the end of our open relationship status so your life is over anyway.”
“Get your ass inside.” With a sharp smack on the right cheek of said ass, he ushered me into the Stable.
The place was so much bigger than it had looked from outside. Every wall was panelled with wood, and all of the chairs were covered with the ugliest dairy cowhide print I’d ever seen. I faked a puke, letting Joss fuss around me until I was sitting on the one beneath a huge black horseshoe.
He perched beside me, stroking my belly and flicking my outy belly button through the fabric of my jolly penguin Christmas jumper. Then he started rubbing it in sensually slow little circles, licking his lips and giving me a dirty grin.
“Stop that,” I whispered, half smiling, just as someone popped their head around a corner.
“Hi!” The guy was gorgeous! Long, golden hair and big amber eyes. “Did Angela just leave you down here?”
Joss said, “Yeah, she did,” but I just nodded.
The guy appeared fully, shaking his head at a closed door in disapproval. “I’m Mel,” he said. “You can come upstairs if you want. There’s a fire up there, and food and drink.” He paused, looking at my jiggling knee. “And a bathroom.”
“Sold,” I said, using Joss’ head to hoist myself up.
At the top of the stairs, I headed straight for the door with a little picture of a toilet on it. Joss hovered, but I waved my hand for him to go on. Once I was finished, I made my way into the door right at the back of the passage, because it was the only one left open.
I was smiling when I entered, and that smile froze on my face. I felt the smudged mascara in the outer corners of my eyes crack as my brows rose. Up against the wall beside a small fire, stood a couple. A beautiful woman and an even more beautiful man, and they were kissing so hard I knew there’d be blood. That wasn’t what had shocked me, though. Nope, it was the size of his dick that had made my jaw drop, and how easily she took every inch of it up her ass.
“Pardon me.” I said it to myself, they didn’t even know I was there.
Backing up, I stood there alone, too scared to pick a door just in case there was more of the same thing going on behind it. But the one directly behind me opened, and Joss popped his head out. “Sorry, babe, I didn’t realise it had clicked shut.”
He stroked my cheek as I walked past him. “You okay? You look a bit pale.”
“Backache,” I lied.
I’d wait until we were safely tucked up in his bed at his folks’ place before I mentioned what I’d seen. Any other time he’d suggest we go make our presence known to see if we’d get an invite to join in, but that wasn’t us anymore. I did miss the sex we used to have with others, but who was going to want me looking like this? Sometimes I didn’t think Joss did, so I wasn’t going to have the guy try to foist me off on anyone else.
The room he took me deeper into was full of men. Well, there were six of them, but they were all big guys and it was a small space, and with the addition of Joss and my big belly it seemed packed to bursting.
The golden haired one who called himself Mel introduced the others, but not all of them. Pointing first at a tall, broad shouldered man with ebony skin he said, “That’s Zar. The doe eyed brunette over there in the green shirt? That’s Cas.”
I blinked fast. Did he say Cas or Adonis? I should have been paying more attention to the speaker and less attention to the thighs of the guy in the hunter green shirt. A godlike creature with eyes like a girl, who was wearing my favourite colour. Merry fucking Christmas, Marilyn.
Joss took my hand and pulled me forward. “Joss Carpenter,” he said. He peered down at me immediately, looking sheepish. His voice had deepened, and I wondered which one the boner he was trying to hide was for. “Uh, under all this wool is my girl, Marilyn, and our daughter Jessie is in there somewhere, too, but with any luck you guys won’t get to meet her.”
“Who are the other guys?” I asked. Joss’ hand tightened in mine. Seems like I couldn’t hide the fact that I was hot for one of the Stable boys either.
Mel shrugged. “Don’t know. They come here all the time but never say much. They follow Angela’s husband in like he’s a shepherd and they’re his sheep, and they join in with the activities but stay quiet.”
“Oh.” Aah, so it was one of the sheep boys that had caught my love’s attention! That disappointed little ‘oh’ told me he wanted to know their names.
I rubbed my belly, sending a thought to my baby. Oh, Jessie, if only you’d come along next Christmas…or even last.
Mel motioned to the bench seats in the corner. Joss led me to them, letting me take the section that wasn’t constricted by any tables. Mel sat with us, chatting politely, but I wasn’t listening. I was sneakily watching Cas over the top of the glass of coke Zar had given me before walking off.
His jaw was perfectly chiselled, and he had a scar on his upper lip. Maybe he got it fighting, I mused. No, I didn’t like the idea of him being smacked in a bar brawl. I much preferred the idea of him being accidentally bitten by an overzealous lover in the throes of ecstasy.
Just as I thought it, Cas’ eyes flicked from whatever he was doing, to me. He openly stared, a small smile appearing on his rosebud lips. It turned wicked, and I felt the first trickle of arousal seep between my butt cheeks.
My nipples hardened as he stared, and I accidentally squeezed Joss’ thigh. Hard. He hissed, has hand covering mine and squeezing back. We gazed at each other, and I knew we were both thinking the same thing. We were going to fuck so hard once we reached his parent’s place he’d put me on the maternity ward.
I realised then that Mel – and Cas – had watched the entire heated, yet silent, exchange. One nodded to the other, and Cas’ chair scraped across the floor. Joss gasped this time, tightening his hand again. What could he see?
Shifting my full upper body took some effort, but I did it so I could look over my shoulder to where his eyes were fixed. Two of the shepherd’s boys were making out! Oh my God, they were really going for it, too, knocking over glasses, their chairs, and a table in their desperation to get at each other.
“Ummm,” was all Joss managed to say. It was an ummm more than I had to offer.
The third nameless guy approached us slowly. He looked skittish, nervous, but wired and horny. Once he reached the table, I noticed Joss stiffen. This was him! This was the guy who filled his pencil with lead. I should have said no. I should have said we’d wait for Angela’s husband downstairs, but the look on my lover’s face was so pleading it was impossible to deny him. I nodded, feeling cast adrift when he took the guy’s hand and joined the other two.
Joss melded into that raw scene like he belonged there. I could hear him growling, see him alternating between tearing at the stranger’s clothes and his own. Oh, he really needed this. His hand was on his cock, then someone else’s, then his tongue was disappearing into the mouth of the guy he wanted so much. All within a matter of seconds, the condom was on and Joss was shoving his conquest face first ass up onto a table.
“That escalated quickly,” someone to my right whispered.
I’d been so enthralled by the fierceness in Joss’ thrusts I hadn’t even realised Cas had sat right beside me. I hadn’t realised Mel had moved closer to my left, or that Zar was perched on the edge of our table, either.
Cas trailed a finger up my thigh, around the mammoth swell of my belly, stopping to circle the bullet of a nipple that stood proud off my right breast. I shivered.
“He made his choice,” he said, still whispering.
His deep, brown eyes were flicking around my face, and he looked as perfect up close as I’d thought he would. Trailing that finger lazily up my throat, over my chin and back and forth over my bottom lip, he licked his lips.
“Now it’s time to make yours. We’ll be gentle with you, Marilyn, I promise.”
I heard Joss yell, “Oh fuck yes!” but I didn’t look to see if he was fucking still or if he was now the one being fucked.
Zar shifted on the table, and his scent flooded over me. It was lemony, leafy and spicy, with a sweetness that made my mouth water. I looked him up and down. Just beneath the hem of his purple shirt was a bulge that could make a size queen weep, and not necessarily with joy. He was fucking huge.
Cas shifted his gloriously green shirt, revealing a package that was just as big. I couldn’t say if it was because of the way Joss was crying my name every now and again, or if it was because I was so turned on I could barely think, but at this point I’d lost all sense of shame and I openly checked out the size of Mel’s cock.
I didn’t have to guess its size like I had with the other two, because he had it in his hand and pointing right at me. Taking a quick glance at Joss, who was now having his ass mastered by one guy and his dick sucked by another, I nodded at the filthy grin he gave me, reaching out for Mel’s cock when my lover mouthed, “Go for it, baby.”
It was warm, throbbing and solid. I kept stroking, trying not to think about what I was doing, trying not to let my brain process the sounds of two men taking their clothes off behind me. Cas drew me to my feet. My woollies went first, then my coat and jumper, and finally my ugly maternity panel leggings and knickers. I felt shockingly exposed, but I wasn’t going to stop. I’d missed this kind of play, and I wanted it.
Zar appeared in front of me, taking my hand and leading me across the bare wooden floorboards to the fire. The area in front of it was strewn with fluffy rugs and, taking care, he guided me to my knees.
As soon as the fur tickled my knees, my mouth opened as if it had been trained to do so, and my tongue snaked out, licking the single drop of fluid from the slit at the tip of his round purple head. There was no way would this monster be going anywhere near either of my lower orifices. That was labour induction waiting to happen. No, I’d just suck on it, worship it with my mouth, take as much of it in as I could until it let go and emptied down my throat.
Hands were on me, and more than two. Taking off my bra, stroking my belly, lifting my heavy breasts to waiting mouths. I peered down, holding Cas’ gaze as he started to suck. His eyes rolled back into his head before closing, and the moan that drifted from his nose made my vagina spasm.
Mel must have known what that sound meant, because he reached under my belly, pushing a long finger into me. Just one, and he didn’t stop sucking the nipple he’d claimed. Zar slapped my cheek with his cock, so giving him my most apologetic smile, I opened my mouth wide and took him in until I gagged.
Before I could pull back he grabbed my plaits, wrapping them around his hands. He fucked my face, crying out every time he stretched the back of my throat and I retched. On and on he went, using his thumbs to clear the pools of mascara tinted tears from the hollows beneath my eyes.
I was coming, choking on his cock, my pussy pulsing for Mel’s now absent fingers. This was everything I’d missed about the lifestyle Joss and I had given up when those two little lines had appeared on our white stick and changed everything. I missed the roughness, the abandon, the reckless desire that caused strains, sprains and bruising. Joss was an amazing lover, but there was a certain excitement about group sex with people you knew you’d never see again that we would never have as a couple.
Pulling out, Zar wiped his wetness over my face. His dark skin was glittering with sweat in the light of the fire, and his eyes were so narrowed with lust they were almost closed. He helped me get my legs from beneath me, leaned me back on to Mel, who was lying on the rugs waiting for me. I peered over at Joss, who had stilled in the act of fucking someone’s mouth so he could watch Zar grab Mel’s dick and put it in me.
I couldn’t hear him groan because of all the heavy breathing going on around me, but I knew what it sounded like. It was deep, desperate, and even though he started thrusting again his eyes remained on me.
Mel moved slowly, letting my walls stretch around him. Each thrust took him a little deeper, and I knew when he’d found his limit not by any sensation inside me, but by his soft whimper. His groin was pressed against my ass…my swollen pussy had taken all of him.
He began to fuck me, holding me up while Zar straddled my chest. Zar’s hands pushed my breasts together, and his cock slid between them, the top passing back and forth between my teeth. I knew by the warmth that trickled down my sides that my nipples were leaking. Joss would be so jealous if he was still watching; he loved it when I leaked on him.
There was a loud slap, and Zar laughed, surging forward. He stroked my lip in apology for his uncomfortably deep thrust, but all was forgiven when I registered what had happened. It was Cas. He’s slapped his buddy’s ass to get him away from me so he could…oh my God. His cock was long and curved, almost like a mutant banana. There was already a condom on it, so he wasted no time in dropping to his knees, yanking me away from Mel and burying every inch of it in me.
He fucked like a pro, and that curve was a sure fire way to get my g-spot screaming. I loved the way he moved, and I told him so. He was less gentle than the other two, sawing in and out so quickly my breasts slapped together, or slowing to a deep grind that made me gouge bloody lines into his hard shoulders.
“I’m not stopping until you come,” he whispered, pressing his forehead against mine.
He wasn’t lying. My ass bounced off his thighs noisily until I came and drowned out the sound with my howling.
The next thing I knew I was wrapped in Mel again, watching Zar’s smooth ball sack swing above my face. He lowered it to my mouth, carefully pushing each of his balls inside, making my cheeks bulge. I hummed softly, moaned loudly, gagged when he pulled them out and replaced them with as much dick as he could get in there.
It was when he pressed his finger between his shaft and my bottom teeth to prevent me biting down that I knew what was coming next. Cas pulled out and then I felt it. I felt the tip of Mel’s cock at my ass. I hadn’t even warmed up for it, but I knew I wanted it.
“Oh fuck!” I half shrieked. He was just so damned big.
Joss stopped what he was doing, eyes full of concern, but I shook my head, pulling Cas toward me. He smiled, positioning his cock, and soon I was filled beyond imagining. I’d fucked three men many a time, but never had they all had dicks this big. It was epic, biblical, and fucking amazing.
Each of them had their own motion, their own speed and rhythm, so I could barely keep up with what was happening to me. Cas rubbed his angel tattooed chest on my breasts, covering himself in milk, Zar’s balls slapped off my nose, and Mel’s nails dug into my skin as he held me up.
They were all so good at their own little parts I had nothing to do but come. So I did, more times than I could count. Being multi-orgasmic had never been such a blessing.
Then I was sitting on my butt, watching Joss crawl along the floorboards. He was coming for me, so I lay down, wide legged, finding his hair with both hands at the exact same time his mouth found my clitoris. Two minutes. That’s all it took for him to make me come so hard I squirted in his face.
He kissed his way up my belly, raising to his knees and pulling me onto his cock. “That better have been orgasm fluid and not amniotic fluid,” he laughed.
He was the only one who got to fuck me without a condom, and it delighted me. I’d forgotten about the others now. Cas and his religiously reverential tattoos, Mel and his golden hair, and Zar and his delicious scent. I’d forgotten all of their cocks too, because the one I liked most in the world was getting ready to unload inside me.
Mel kneeled beside us, leaning over me with one hand on the floor. His other hand pumped his cock until it spurted over my breasts. Two of the shepherds followed suit, jizzing on my tits, and then next came Mel. The guy Joss had wanted sank his cock into my mouth, fucking fast and not pulling out until the very last second. Some of it hit my face, but I was too busy to worry.
Because it was Cas’ turn.
He didn’t straddle me like the others had done. He crouched beside Joss instead. Watching their tongues slide against each other made me start to snap my hips in desperation. I fucked Joss harder than I should have, and just as I came, they both rose over me and sprayed me with their cum. I was covered in it, lying there exhausted by the fire.
Joss flopped down beside me, pulled me into his arms without a care for what he was getting himself covered in. The others got up, heading off in different directions. Only Cas lingered, and his smile was peace itself.
“You guys get yourselves cleaned up,” he said in a sweet voice. “I’m a mechanic so I’ll get dressed and I’ll go take a look at your car. You need to get to the city before the roads get too bad, and it’s only about eleven miles away. We can’t have you giving birth in the Stable on Christmas Day now, can we?”
Joss laughed, but I didn’t. I felt another gush of fluid, and a tight spasm rippled through me. “Oh boy, here we go.”
I was going to have a baby on Christmas Eve, possibly even Christmas Day. It wasn’t the second coming of Christ, but I was glad I’d taken the chance to have my second coming when it presented itself to me. This life was over for Joss and I now, but I was glad we’d gotten a chance to revisit it a final time, and I was so pleased we’d taken it without me being jealous or him worrying about the baby. It was the best Christmas present we were ever likely to give each other, and I knew we’d cherish it always.